Crush-Part I

I knew he had a crush on me. I had noticed him watch me walk down the hallway, licking his lips. I instinctively knew I had to have him.

I didn’t know much about him, except overhearing his comments in group conversations. He was a bit militant, a quality I admired, but he had a pimpish swagger about him. I knew if he was talking good game, I’d be down to hear it.

I was losing it for Amir, my second daughter’s father. We had had a strong love thang for awhile, especially after Amira was born. We had our little family, as my eldest daughter, Mia, called him daddy too. Her father was still in New York, fighting his crack addiction.

But lately Amir was becoming the third child in the house. Eating and drinking but not working. He couldn’t hold down a job for shit. He walked off his last gig, claiming the supervisor disrespected him. I doubted that since Amir was highly sensitive. Furthermore he didn’t understand how irresponsible that decision was. He actually wanted to argue the point with me until I reminded him the rent was due in a week. He saw the anger in my eyes, and packed his bag and left before I could put him out. Mia and Amira cried for a week.

My body was beginning to ache from missing his touch. His long, athletic body always accommodated mine in bed and I found myself feeling cold at night with him gone. I wanted to call him, ask him to come back, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t into supporting any man.

Besides I kept thinking about…him.

Nasir. I loved his name. It was so unique, and it sounded like royalty to my ears. I knew he had kids too because he had brought them to the job a few times. With those kids, I knew a woman couldn’t be far behind. I crossed my fingers, hoping he was a single dad.

It all started after my co-worker Pam threw a game party at her house. Pam was quite the social butterfly, always throwing parties. I found out from her who all from the job was coming, and as soon as she mentioned Nasir, I knew I would be in attendance. I wore my tight jeans so he could get a good look at the shape of my onion. I never had much going on in the breast department, so I wore a sweater that accented my slender shape and showed up my booty. Chandelier earrings, lip gloss, and some amber oil completed my “look” for the night. I walked into Pam’s spot with the utmost confidence, and took a seat next to my intended.

We played a round of Taboo, while getting drunk off of some homemade wine Pam had brewed. I pretended not to notice the 3 blunts sitting on the coffee table. Pam was not shy at all. Getting drunk with co-workers was one thing, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting them all know I smoked weed. Apparently it wasn’t bothering folks, because they all sat at attention when she lit the first blunt. I watched to see if Nasir would hit it—and he did. His lips had me as I watched him exhale. He handed it to me, but I played shy. I hadn’t smoked since college and this California weed was suppose to be the strongest there is. He chuckled, his already slanted eyes looking even more closed as he got high.
“You want me to hotbox you?,” he asked.
“What is that?”
Again he chuckled, and by now I felt like an idiot. He placed the blunt between his lips and inhaled while beckoning me closer to him. I moved in and he met me halfway, placing his lips as close to mine as possible without us kissing. I opened my lips slightly to catch the smoke he exhaled toward me. The whole experience was erotic—I was wet between my thighs and he knew it. Two more hotbox hits and I could’ve had him on Pam’s couch.

I was open, drunk and high, grinning from ear to ear in his face. I looked at my colleagues laughing and smoking and noticed a couple of them looking at me and grinning. A few of them knew of my crush, but suddenly, I was paranoid. I got up to leave.
“Hey girl, where are you going”, Pam asked, as she approached me, with a huge smile on her face. “We are getting ready to hit up The Lounge in Hollywood.”
“I don’t think so Pam. I don’t know you all that well. You might be trying to set me up. I need my job.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The wine and the weed. You might be trying to make me lose my job!”
“What? Now you got me paranoid. If I had known you weren’t cool with it, I wouldn’t have invited you. Now I feel set up.” Pam shot me a dirty look and went to go get her coat from the closet. “Let’s go ya’ll, she is killing my buzz. See you on Monday, Kenya.”

I stood there, feeling kind of crazy. The weed had been strong. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nasir approaching me. I didn’t want to face him because I felt out of place. “Hey Kenya, what’s wrong? You’re not a smoker are you?”
“Is it that obvious? I mean, I did in college, but that has been awhile.”
“Well look, I can skip The Lounge. What do you feel like doing? I don’t think it’s cool for you to be alone, considering your condition.”
I looked over at Nasir. Damn, even high as a kite, he was sexy. I grabbed my coat. “Give me one second Nasir.” I walked over to Pam. “Pam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable in your own home. I just got nervous…and paranoid.” Pam broke out in grin, leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Girl, it’s cool. We will never smoke together again though, I know that much! Have fun tonight…the both of you,” she smiled and both Nasir and I and we all filed out of the door of her apartment and onto the street.

Nasir followed me to my car and kneeled down by the driver’s side door as I slid in. I looked at him and smiled. “So, what you want to do?,” he asked again. “Honestly Nasir, I want to go home.”
“Are you sure? I was hoping that this evening would lend itself to us getting to know each other better. I mean, you’re the main reason I came to this function.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure you’ve noticed me watching you around work. I’m not all that discreet about it.” I tried to control my lips from breaking into the widest smile ever, but he definitely had my ear. I decided to take a chance. “You want to go get something to eat?”
He gave me what appeared to be a sigh of relief. “Sure. You driving?”

************************************************************************

I awoke the next morning feeling sticky and satisfied. For a moment I completely forgot what had occurred, but a deep breath and roll over brought me back. Nasir. Damn, I could scream his name from the rooftop. NASIR!!!

Nasir, with the dick that don’t quit.

He was nothing like Amir. His body was pretty imperfect, with his little round beer belly. And he wasn’t nearly as big as Amir, but dammit if size don’t matter. This man fucked me so right last night that I really don’t know what to do with myself right now. My head is all over the place, but one thing is certain: I gotta have him.

TO BE CONTINUED...