Monday

Red Lights

I feel like he's got me caught in a web. I can't get out. And just when I get close enough to the edge to reach out, he overpowers me, and pulls me back in.

I think I like being caught.

His birthday fell on a Sunday and he wanted to chill and party quietly, so we headed to Harvelle's in Santa Monica. It's dark, smoke-filled walls and red vinyl decor lent itself to his being incognito. Whenever he was with me, nobody noticed him, or if they did, they assumed he was in chill mode, not wanting to be bothered. We shared a cigarette while the band played. It was eventually anything but quiet in there.

"Are you having fun", I asked.
"Definitely", he responded, looking between the thighs of the burlesque dancer, straddling him. "Are you?"
"Absolutely", I said, watching his eyes appreciate the curves of the dancer in front of him.
The band ended their song and the dancer dismounted, and planted a juicy, visible, cherry red kiss on his lips and planted one on my cheek. We gave her, along with several of her fans, a standing ovation. The band started up again.
"The music is so good", I said, rocking in my seat.
"It is", he replied. and slid beside me in the booth, squeezing my thigh. "You wanna head out after this song?"
"What?"
"I'm down for whatever. I pretty much got the groove and the vibe of the place. We can stay as long as you want or we can leave. I'm ready when you are."
I was slightly taken aback, but I went with it. "So what do you want to do?"
He made the face that I was all too familiar with, and gave my thigh a stronger squeeze. "You know..."
"Come on let's go", I said and grabbed him by the hand. We exited the booth and had to pause at a group of ladies who recognized him and stopped us. I waited while he charmed them and politely declined signing autographs. He did take one big group photo with the ladies before we left the building.
"They are going to super appreciate that, seeing as you were not trying to sign autographs tonight. What's up with that?"
"Because I was trying to get out so we can get to where we're going. Is that a problem?"
"No. I just feel celebrities need to be gracious towards those that help them keep their status."
"That's why I'm walking with you."
I stopped walking and turned to him. "What all do you want from me?"
"I'll take as much as you're willing to give." He was always giving me those responses that didn't answer my question and left me more confused. He knew it perplexed me.

We headed north a block, and then west towards the beach. It was a warm night, with not a single cloud in the sky. It was the type of night that reminded me why I loved LA so much, and why I enjoyed being in his company. He could be with any number of women he wanted, and why he was with me always haunted me. I would tell myself that it didn't matter, and that I should just live in the moment. But my mind refused to stop working.

We got on the beach and he ran forward in the dark, presumably towards the ocean. I was surprised when he stopped at a vacant lifeguard stand, and started climbing up. I walked to the base and looked up. "Come on", he said, reaching out. I ascended the weather beaten ladder, and sat down next to him. "It's a good thing I wore jeans."
"So what are we doing?", he asked.
"What?"
"Are we dating?"
I turned to look at him, and felt my stomach drop. "I've been wondering the same thing, but I wasn't going to ask."
"I'll answer for you. We most definitely are dating."
I smiled, and tried to hide my face, but it was to no avail. "I can feel you cheesing", he said chuckling. "I am too. I'm just not sure if I want to be tied down at this point."
My smile instantly disappeared. "Then, I'm still on the market."
"I know", he said, pulling me closer to him, and keeping his arm around me. "That's what I don't like.
"You'll have to do something about it then."
He nuzzled my cheek and spoke softly in my ear. "Please just say you'll wait for me and let me do what I need to do."
"Yeah right! I won't be waiting alone, know that."
"I'll be ready before you know it."
"That could be five years from now."
I rested my head on his shoulder and we sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the waves crash against the sand. It was a gorgeous night.
"Happy birthday by the way. I don't think I've said that to you all night."
"You hadn't. Where's my gift?"
"What? Isn't being in my presence gift enough?"
"You wish. What you got going on under those jeans."
"Not a gift for you."
"So you say", he said and lifted me up and placed me across him. I straddled at first, then planted my feet firmly on either side of him, leaning forward with my elbows to my knees.
"That's sexy."
"You think?"
"Uh huh", he said, and started to unzip my hoodie. "What's under here?" He peeked in. "Oh!"
"Shut up. Are you this silly with all your other women?"
"No. You're the only one that I'm myself with, and you clearly have no clue how important that is."
"So you say, " I said as I zipped my jacket up. He pulled me closer, and kissed me on the lips. First one peck, then another, and then full mouth and tongue. I could taste salt on his tongue.
"I want you right here."
"So take me", I challenged him.
He unzipped my hoodie again, but this time down to my navel. "I'm cold", I insisted, but he grabbed me underneath the hoodie and pulled me close, covering my mouth with his. We kissed while he ran his hands underneath my shirt - they were so big and warm I wanted to melt. I could feel him stiffen underneath me and I began to grind up against him. I felt him get harder and harder until the head was upright against his stomach. He fumbled with my bra strap, eventually opting to pull it down in front to release my breasts. He cupped them, sucking both nipples simultaneously. It was all I could do to keep grinding on him - I wanted to taste him, but it didn't matter - he had plans of his own.

"Stand up", he ordered.

I stood up and he moved me closer to him until I was directly over him. He pulled my jeans and panties down, and put his middle finger inside of me. He closed his eyes as his finger met my wetness and grunted his approval. He grabbed me by my thighs and gently used his thumbs to pull back the lips of my pussy. He rubbed me dripping wet with his thumbs and then grabbed my ass and put my wet lips to his and licked. And licked. And licked.

I purred and felt my knees buckle, and the wetter I got, the more he licked and then sucked. His sucking made me lose my mind, and I grabbed the back of his head, moaning louder and louder as each second went by. He lifted my right leg to gain better access inside of me and I held on to his head to keep my balance. He licked and sucked me to climax, and damn near put to sleep.

I leaned against the lifeguard stand, feeling my own nectar drip down my thighs and legs and he came behind me, sopping up my juice with his dick. He rubbed himself between my ass cheeks until he was just as wet as I was, and entered me.

He held on to my hips and fucked me, slowly at first and then faster. My screams echoed across the beach in the dark, and I anchored myself against the rail to take him all in. He held on to my ass so tight, I swore he drew blood. I wanted to make him cum.

"Do you love me?", he asked.
"Yes."
"Louder."
"Yes!"
"Tell me you love me!"
"I love you!" I screamed out into the darkness and at that moment I felt him climax inside of me.

I slumped over the rail in exhaustion and he slumped over me, breathing heavy in my ear, and whispered, "I love you, too". We fell back against the lifeguard stand and passed out, and didn't wake until the lights of a patrol car flashed in our faces coming down the beach. Sleepily, we dressed ourselves and quickly climbed down the stand. It was still early morning, and we leaned against each other as we made our way back to the car.

I climbed into the passenger seat, and watched him get in behind the wheel. "You never told me you loved me before", I said.
"Of course I have."
"You haven't."
"Maybe because I show it more than I say it. You know I love you. Before tonight, you'd never said it to me either."
"Because I show it. Often."
"And that's why we are beyond dating."
'What?"
"I want you off the market. I want you to be mine."
"This is post-cum talk."
He looked offended. "You never believe me when I tell you the truth. You'll never trust me".
"That's not true. But a few hours ago you weren't sure."
"I am now", he said as he made a left onto Sepulveda Blvd. We were headed away from his house.
"Where are we going?"
He took a deep breath. "To the airport. I'm going to Paris." The wind was knocked out of me. 
"What? Since when?"
"It's been in the works. I'm going to visit a friend. It's a birthday gift.
Friend. Gift. Another woman.
I sighed as he pulled into LAX and headed to the International Terminal. It was 4:36 am and we pulled up to the empty curb. He popped the trunk, and jumped out and grabbed an already packed duffel and garment bag. I fought the tears that wanted to fall out of my eyes, but I wouldn't let them - he would not see my tears. He came around to the passenger side door, squatted down, and looked at me. I kept my eyes straight ahead.
"When will you return?"
"A week, maybe two. Depends on the weather." He leaned in and kissed my cheek, and then turned my face and kissed my lips. "I love you. I'll always be back." And then he left.

It was 20 minutes before I got behind the wheel of the car and started back to his house. I didn't want to, but couldn't help but imagine the tall, beautiful Parisian that would be meeting him on the other end. I didn't know who it was, but I knew his taste, and imagining the gift she had in store only made me feel worse.

As I headed up La Cienega toward Hollywood Hills, I told myself two weeks was no time at all. Tangled up or not, this was where he was, and where I would be.

What I wouldn't do for the love of him...

















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